Archive for October 21st, 2011
Publication: The Day
Trawl the internet and you’ll find a lot of books written by women who have discovered that the seemingly shy, sweet and quirky men they married turned out to have Asperger’s syndrome, and their books tell stories of unrequited love, shattering loneliness and neglect.
But you’ll be hard-pressed to find a voice from the other side.
Thirty-year-old Daryl Blonder of Salem may be that voice.
Blonder is the author of a new self-published memoir, “Problem Child: Confessions of an Aspie,” in which he shares, with relentless honesty, the pain and loneliness of a man who wants nothing more in life than to love and be loved but who could never get beyond his disorder.
And he makes what he acknowledges will be a controversial argument: that men with Asperger’s are simply incapable of ever having a “normal” relationship with a woman.
This, in part, because men with this disorder can’t pick up on social cues and often act inappropriately. The syndrome, considered a “high-functioning” form of autism, is also marked by extreme egocentricity, odd interests (Blonder has had a lifelong fascination with telephone poles) and repetitive or ritualistic behaviors.
“I reach puberty on page 20 out of 200,” he says. “I think that extensive literature has been published on autism in childhood, but there has just not been a lot about adults with autism. Children eventually become adults.”
And it is when he hit puberty that Blonder’s personal struggle began.
“I had a very happy childhood. I came from a very good family. My parents were there all the way,” Blonder says. “Puberty is when the stuff hits the fan. It gets real tough. It’s like a ‘m’aidez’ for people with autism. Stuff kicks in. And we get confused.“
The other reason Blonder wrote the book “is because I think there’s this connotation out there that people with autism can have successful relationships and they can learn social rules, and it’s not that simple. Trying to establish relationships and maintain them and achieve basic emotional needs that we do have, especially with the opposite sex, is an epic quest for us, and it oftentimes is a lifelong venture.“
Indeed, Blonder paints a fairly bleak picture of an Aspie’s prospects of finding love. His book is a chronicle of heartbreaks, as he tries and fails – with one woman after another – to connect. These disasters have led him to “some very dark places,” even to attempts at suicide.
“Autistic adults often go through their entire lives with no friends, no significant other,” he says. “It’s just not that easy, and I want the world to understand how we think. I want to put the reader inside my head. This is how I view relationships. And the social nuances that people just take for granted … They’re just a part of you; they’re not a part of me.“
The most controversial conclusion he has reached: that men with Asperger’s seeking sexual gratification should resign themselves to hiring escorts.
“The defining moment for me in my life, probably the most traumatic event … that really almost took me over the edge was when I liked a girl in high school, and I just didn’t know how to approach her and I sent her anonymous gifts,” he says.
“And it was revealed that she was really afraid of me. That was horribly traumatic. I mean, it forever tainted my ability to feel comfortable around women. … I say stuff, and I’m shifty. It’s just the way my demeanor is; I can’t help it.
“And always after that: intense paranoia. Am I going to freak her out if I do this? Am I going to freak her out if I do that?“
And so the book is quite explicit in detailing Blonder’s visits to clubs where he could find sexual satisfaction without having to be afraid.
“I feel that there will be controversy about some of my life decisions,” he says. “And I really believe how I resign myself with my romantic life has the potential to generate a lot of discussion.“
In his professional life, Blonder has worked for McDonald’s, in movie theatres and – his dream – the movie business itself, as an extra, a caterer and, in “The Bronx Is Burning,” an actor with a line.
He has an IMDb page and hopes to get larger roles in the future.
But he says his interest in the movie business wasn’t so much about “the craft” as “wanting to be in the movies, everything was all about talking to girls.“
But Blonder is quite honest in admitting he has no desire for a traditional relationship with a woman. He still lives with his parents, and would not want to change that.
“I don’t want to get married and start a family. I live in my own world. I feel really weird about bodily functions. I just couldn’t really live with someone, and I like to go on road trips by myself,” he says.
“To be honest would be to say something like ‘I’m committed to being single; I practice safe casual sex as a lifestyle, and I like to be with different women and enjoy them and experience them and share myself with them. But I’m just not interested in anything permanent.”
Blonder says he does not pretend to speak for all Aspies, but only to tell his own story.
“I’m speaking for me. There’s a saying: ‘When you’ve met one person with Asperger’s, you’ve met one person with Asperger’s.’ Because everybody has their own story,” he says. “Due to the controversial decisions I’ve made in my life, I don’t want to position myself as an autism advocate. I want my story to be told as somebody that has lived with it and has it to share.”
… For more information about Blonder’s book, visit www.aspieconfession.com.
An autism-friendly film screening at a Bradford cinema was so successful the special screenings are to take place each month.
A campaign was started by Dimensions, a specialist provider of support for people with autism and learning disabilities earlier this year, to improve cinema access.
The charity teamed up with cinema group Odeon and a special showing of Mr Popper’s Penguins took place at the Odeon, at the Gallagher Leisure Park in Thornbury, in August, where the lights were left on low, the volume turned down, trailers omitted and people were allowed to move around the cinema or make a noise.
Nationally, more than 3,000 people turned out at 40 cinemas to support the sensory-friendly screenings in 57 Odeon cinemas across the UK.
After this success, the next autism- friendly film screening will be the autumn blockbuster Johnny English Reborn (PG) at 11.30am next Tuesday at the Odeon in Thornbury.
Lisa Hopkins, Dimensions Autism Lead, said: “Some great work already takes place locally by cinemas and support groups to show sensory-friendly screenings, but new mainstream cinema releases have never before been accessible to so many people with autism in the UK.”
For information about up-coming films visit: dimensions-uk.org/autismfriendly
Source:
http://www.thetelegraphandargus.co.uk/news/9305406.Autistic_friendly_film_initiative_expanded/
Graeme Croton, from Erdington, is the founder and project leader of Project Aspie, a social community website that provides essential advice and information to help youngsters that have Asperger’s syndrome.
The site, which launched earlier this year, has been shortlisted in the TalkTalk Digital Heroes Awards, which give people a chance to win funding for a new or existing digital project.
Twelve winning projects will be awarded a £5,000 grant and will go through to a grand final at the House of Lords, with one overall winner getting £10,000.
Graeme said: “The message of my website is that young people with Asperger’s syndrome can do positive things. It also offers advice and support to parents, carers and family members of loved ones with Asperger’s syndrome.”
Graeme, who was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome at the aged of 15, after experiencing bullying, recognised the need to be understood in society. He has since become an award-winning activist, public speaker, mentor and role model for those with Asperger’s syndrome, winning a series of other awards.
As part of Project Aspie, Graeme is designing workshops to boost understanding and knowledge on the condition.
If he won, Graeme would use the £5,000 grant to improve the website and to run events for members.
Vote at www.talktalk.co.uk/digitalheroes/vote-map.php
“Aspirations”
Published on Thursday 20 October 2011 11:45
THE findings of a serious case review into a harrowing instance of child cruelty will be made public, Tynwald was told.
The Isle of Man Examiner reported last month on how social services were heavily criticised during a court case in which a couple were jailed over a catalogue of cruelty and neglect meted out to a little girl with learning difficulties.
The 26-year-old woman was jailed for two years and six months after admitting grievous bodily harm and wilful neglect/ill treatment. Her 35-year-old partner was handed a nine-month jail term after admitting wilful neglect/ill treatment. Neither defendant could be named for legal reasons.
The court heard of how the girl, who is autistic and has a sore hip and a limp, was ordered to jump up and down on the spot, was left outside in her nightie and was made to run up and down the back lane for an hour or more to tire her out before bed.
Police were alerted after the child was admitted to Noble’s Hospital on Sunday, July 4, last year with a fractured jaw.
Deemster Alastair Montgomerie said alarm bells should have been ringing with social services over the case.
In Tynwald this week, Steve Rodan (Garff) asked whether the findings of the serious case review would be made public – and whether the inquiry would be sufficiently impartial.
In a written reply, newly-appointed Education Minister Peter Karran MHK said it was important that the island’s Safeguarding Children Board was responsible for its own reviews. He said: ‘The findings from this review will be made public. It is essential the identities of any children involved are protected.
‘The Safeguarding Children Board will make a public statement giving details of the independent review process, the findings and any actions identified to improve practice in order to reassure the community that any lessons have been learned.’ He said the first review draft would be presented in March with a public statement issued in two months.
Source:
http://www.iomtoday.co.im/news/isle-of-man-news/child_cruelty_findings_to_be_made_public_1_3889546
Aspiritech provides gainful employment for autistic adults.
Rick Alexander is a model employee.
He is conscientious and talented, having proven his abilities well enough to be called upon to lead his team on a recent project. He is committed to his craft, even devoting much of his own time at home to maintaining his technical skill set.
So, it may surprise you that when Rick was coming out of college with a degree in computer science, he could not find a job. Dozens of companies turned him down. He was not called back for a second interview even once.
That is because Rick is on the autism spectrum. And like many people with autism, Rick lacked the social skills to do well on job interviews.
A company for those with autism
Moshe and Brenda Weitzberg know how hard it is for intelligent, highly skilled people with autism to get good jobs. Their son, Oran, who has Asperger’s syndrome, a mild form of autism, had to take a job bagging groceries because no company would hire him in the technical field for which he was trained, despite the fact that he held a college degree.
The Weitzbergs, who are Highland Park residents, decided to do something about it. They conducted research and discovered that the characteristics of people with autism – sharp attention to details, ability to concentrate on repetitive tasks and technical aptitude – aligned well with software testing.
So, two years ago, they formed Aspiritech, a software testing company that employs adults with high-functioning autism.
Harnessing the talent
The company has an autism specialist, Marc Lazar, to help maximize the abilities of the individuals on this special team. Lazar explained that proactively reducing stress is key to enabling individuals with autism to perform well. Toward this, he organizes team-building social activities that also have the benefit of helping employees improve their social skills. The laid back culture is also fostered through flexible work hours and by permitting workers to take breaks as needed to be by themselves.
Lazar also helped to set up a framework that tailors the work to the needs of the employees. He places an emphasis on straightforward communications, provides clear direction and removes ambiguity in tasks.
The results have been remarkable.
After starting out in the Weitzbergs’ basement with no large-scale funding, Aspiritech now employs 15 software testers with offices in downtown Highland Park.
Moshe Weitzberg said that the company has satisfied all of their clients.
“The companies that gave us a chance are very happy.”
He attributes their success to the ability of his workers. He noted that clients have found that his team discovered up to 50 percent more bugs than typical software testers.
Read in Full:
http://highlandpark.patch.com/articles/aspiritech-employing-the-talents-of-adults-with-autism